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Why America Chose Asphalt Over Amtrak: The Great Interstate vs. High-Speed Rail Showdown

A satirical romp through the absurd American choice to build endless highways instead of zipping around on slick trains like Europe.

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Good news, fellow road warriors! While Europe enjoys cozy train rides at the speed of social conscience, we here in the U.S. doubled down on what we do best: paving paradise and putting up parking lots. Yes, the Interstate Highway System — our great asphalt artery — was the bold decision that trumped any fanciful notion of high-speed rail. But why the hell did we choose trucks over trains? Let me spell it out—Zeihan style.

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First off, geography: America is basically a giant, sprawling backyard. Imagine trying to run a laser beam of train tracks across a land mass bigger than Europe, with people living miles apart in every direction. High-speed trains need crowds — lots of them — humming along the rail line like bees in a hive. Meanwhile, our population is more of a “scattered campsite” vibe. Enter highways: flexible snake-like ribbons connecting everyone from New York's hustle to Wyoming's tumbleweeds.

Then, there's the military angle. Eisenhower (yes, the old general/guy-who-turns-roads-into-raceways) wanted something you can drive tanks on, pronto. His inspiration? Those German autobahns designed for blitzkrieg, not for sipping espresso on a train. So highways were born not just for Mom's road trip but for troop deployments. You don’t hear much about speeding soldiers on Europe’s comfy rails.

Money, money, money. Highways paid by you and me at the pump — a direct "user fee" approach. Trains? Oh, they require mountains of upfront cash and ongoing taxpayer coaxing, making investment bankers break into cold sweats. America likes paying for stuff when we use it. Europeans? They prefer the government footing the bill while you chow down on a baguette.

Coverage matters too. Our highways cover 48 states like a well-worn leather jacket—and support trucks carrying everything from smartphones to cheese wheels. Trains are stuck in major city hubs, handling just a tiny slice of passenger traffic. Good luck flagging a bullet train when you've got 300 miles of cornfields between stops.

Practicality is king. Highways can handle cars, trucks, RVs, and even that monster lumbering camper your uncle drives. High-speed rail? It’s noble but rigid—no detours, no trucks, no farm tractors. Just point A to point B, whether you want it or not.

Bottom line: The U.S. betting big on the interstate system was a classic case of "build it broad, build it tough," rather than "build it fast, build it fancy." Europe’s high-speed rail dream might look glam on a postcard, but for America’s vast, spread-out reality? Asphalt wins every time.

Feeling enlightened? Want more biting truths served with a side of sarcasm? Subscribe to CanAmericaNews.com’s newsletter and never miss a beat on how we keep this crazy country moving—on wheels, not rails.

Drive safe, think smart, and remember: America was built on highways and a whole lot of stubborn grit.