TRUMP SIGNS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BILL EVER—SMALL BUSINESS WINS, LOSERS WHINE!

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Folks, let’s be honest: nobody does bills like Trump. Nobody. And now, with the stroke of a pen (gold, obviously), President Donald J. Trump has given America what it’s always wanted—a bill so big, so beautiful, so perfect, even the haters and losers are speechless. (Except they’re not, they’re crying on cable news. Sad!)

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What’s in this WINNING Bill?
Let’s break it down—Trump style, simple and strong:

• Small Biz Gets 20% OFF—FOREVER!
  That’s right. If you own a business (a real one, not some fake lemonade stand), you keep 20% of your profits. Not for a year, not for two—FOREVER. Trump made it permanent, because temporary is for quitters.

• Write Off EVERYTHING—Just Like Trump!
  Want a new truck? A gold-plated stapler? A life-size portrait of yourself? Write it off, baby! Up to $2.5 million in business stuff, instantly. No more waiting around for the IRS to catch up—Trump’s got your back.

• Estate Tax? Only for the LOSERS!
  If you’re leaving less than $15 million (or $30 million as a couple—hello, Melania!), your kids keep it all. No more government grabbing your hard-earned cash. Trump calls it “the American Dream, but YUGER.”

• No Tax on Tips and Overtime—Because Trump Tips BIG!
  Waiters, bartenders, hustlers—your tips and OT are tax-free until 2028. Trump says, “Nobody tips like me. Now you can keep it all. You’re welcome.”

How’s Trump Paying for This?
Easy—cutting waste! Medicaid, food stamps, all that government nonsense? Trump’s trimming the fat. If you want free stuff, move to Canada! In America, we work, we win, and we pay less tax. That’s the Trump way.

The Trump Take:
“This is the greatest bill in history. People are saying it. Small business is back. The economy is back. America is back. And the fake news can’t stand it!” (Direct quote, probably.)

Trump Accounts—For Babies!
Have a baby? Trump gives you a thousand bucks. But don’t blow it—Trump’s watching. If you touch it before your kid’s 18, you pay a penalty. That’s called discipline, folks.

Final Word:
If you own a business, you’re winning. If you’re lazy, you’re losing. If you’re confused, don’t worry—Trump’s got the answers. And if you want the real news, the biggest headlines, and the most beautiful satire, you need to SUBSCRIBE to the Canamericanews newsletter. Do it now—before the haters shut us down!

This is Trump country, folks. And with this bill, it’s never been greater. Believe me!