THE 15-MINUTE CITY: WALK, DON’T RUN!

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Hello, freedom lovers! George Jones here, broadcasting from my top-secret, tinfoil-reinforced greenhouse—where the only thing under surveillance is my prize-winning tomato plant. But out there in the concrete jungle? The 15-minute city is rolling out the same surveillance technology the Chinese Communist Party uses to keep tabs on 1.4 billion people—except in the West, we used to just use it for watering our begonias!

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Let’s connect the dots, folks:
You think those “smart” cameras on every lamppost are just there to help you find your lost cat? Think again! These are the same facial recognition gadgets and AI-powered trackers that the CCP uses to monitor every jaywalker, noodle slurper, and karaoke enthusiast from Beijing to Shanghai. In China, step out of line and your “social credit score” tanks faster than my stock portfolio in 2020.

But here’s the kicker:
In the West, we used this tech for innocent things—like checking if your petunias needed water or if your neighbor’s dog was digging up your lawn (again). Now, they’re repurposing it to keep an eye on you. Every step you take in the 15-minute city is logged, analyzed, and filed away by the same kind of algorithms that decide if you’re a model citizen or a menace to society. Miss a recycling day? Your Neighborly Score drops. Forget to wave at the community garden? Another ding. Visit your favorite bakery too often? Big Brother’s got you on a carb watchlist!

And don’t let the city planners’ sweet talk fool you. They’ll say, “It’s about convenience, community, and climate action!” But if you squint past the buzzwords, you’ll see the same old control tactics—just with a fresh coat of eco-friendly paint. These folks are all sorts of evil:

• Importing surveillance tech straight from the world’s most notorious control state

• Turning friendly neighborhoods into open-air panopticons

• Rebranding social credit as the “Neighborly Score” so you don’t notice your freedoms slipping away

Don’t let them turn your neighborhood into a high-tech hamster cage!
Subscribe to Canamericanews for the facts, the laughs, and the only score that matters—how many people you share this newsletter with. Send it to your family, your friends, and anyone who still thinks “smart” means “helpful.” Because the only thing worse than being watched by the CCP’s technology is not knowing you’re being watched at all.

Stay sharp. Stay cheeky. Stay one step ahead of the dragon.

—George Jones,
Chief Tomato Waterer & Surveillance Spoofer, Canamericanews