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Hello, This is Alex Jones Reporting:

Let’s face it, folks: if you haven’t gotten a scam call this week, check your phone-it might be broken. I’m Alex Jones (the satirical one, not the conspiracy one), and today we’re diving deep into the wild world of international scam calls, where every ring could be a fraudster from Mumbai or Shenzhen trying to separate you from your hard-earned loonies or greenbacks. But first a word from our sponsor:

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The Global Spam Stampede: By the Numbers

First, let’s look at just how bad it’s gotten. Canadians get about 6 spam calls per person per month, which sounds quaint until you realize 9% of those are outright fraud attempts-way higher than the U.S., where only 1% of spam calls are scams. Meanwhile, our American cousins are getting hammered with 15 spam calls per month, and in April 2025 alone, nearly 5 billion robocalls rang across the U.S. That’s more rings than a jewelry store in Vegas23.

And the money? The U.S. lost an estimated $280 million to phone scams in just the first quarter of 2025. Canadians aren’t far behind: in the first three months of 2023, nearly 2,000 people reported losing $20.6 million to phone scams-and that’s just the folks who bothered to report it36.

How the Scam Sausage Gets Made

What’s fueling this epidemic? Cheap international call rates, especially in India, make it laughably affordable for scammers to pepper North America with calls. The international termination charge (ITC) in India is among the lowest in the world, so fraudsters can spam your phone for less than the price of a samosa5. Meanwhile, technology like VoIP lets them spoof local numbers, making it look like your call is coming from Ottawa, not overseas46.

The result: call centers in India and China are churning out scams faster than Tim Hortons churns out double-doubles. They’re armed with scripts, fake names, and a talent for impersonation that would make a method actor jealous.

Greatest Hits from the Scam Call Hall of Fame

• Amazon Scams: The #1 scam in Canada. “Hello, this is Amazon. Did you order 17 blenders and a goat?” No, you didn’t. Hang up26.

• Government Impersonation: “This is the CRA/IRS/Consulate. Pay your taxes or we’ll deport you to the nearest ice floe.” The real government never asks for payment in gift cards or crypto17.

• Delivery Scams: “There’s a package for you, but you owe $47.23 in mysterious fees.” Unless you’re expecting a box of mystery meat, don’t bite2.

• Chinese Language Robocalls: These target Chinese-speaking Canadians and Americans, threatening everything from legal trouble to deportation if you don’t pay up2.

• Credit Card and Crypto Scams: “Your credit card has been compromised. Please provide your number so we can make it worse.” Or, “Invest in this crypto scheme and retire by Thursday!”2.

Why Can’t We Stop Them?

Telecom regulators are trying, but it’s like playing whack-a-mole with a toothpick. Spoofed numbers, VoIP, and international loopholes keep scammers one step ahead46. Even the Consulate General of India in Toronto has issued advisories: they’ll never call you about your visa, PR, or job offer, and they definitely won’t ask for payment over the phone. If you get such a call, report it to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre and your local police, pronto1.

What Can You Do (Besides Throw Your Phone in the Lake)?

• Don’t give out personal info to callers, no matter how official they sound.

• If someone threatens you with jail, deportation, or eternal hold music, hang up.

• Report scam calls to the authorities-if nothing else, it gives you a story for the next family gathering.

• Educate your friends, family, and especially newcomers. The more people know, the harder it is for scammers to succeed67.

The Final Ring

So next time your phone lights up with a call from “Officer Bob” or “Amazon Security,” remember: the only thing they want to secure is your bank account. Stay sharp, keep your wits about you, and don’t let the scammers win. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, just remember: at least you’re not the one making 5 billion calls a month for a living.

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