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Picture this: a riding so huge it would take you days to drive across, and Pierre Poilievre wins it with more than 80% of the vote. Yes, 80%. That’s not a squeaker—it’s the kind of victory that makes Liberals in Ottawa sweat bullets. Meanwhile, in Nepean, Liberal leader Mark Carney is still fumbling around trying to open a constituency office. Spoiler alert: it’s nowhere to be found. But before we get to the nitty gritty, let’s talk about today’s sponsor:
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Welcome to Battle River-Crowfoot, Alberta—where Conservative values are planted deep like the endless wheat fields and prairie skies. This riding is roughly 52,589 square kilometers of honest-to-goodness rural Alberta, with small towns, farms, and—well, a lot of nothing. In other words, it’s America’s heartland’s Canadian cousin. And guess what? That’s exactly where Conservatives shine.
Pierre Poilievre slapped down 214 opponents—a record smasher of candidates—to reclaim a seat. His challenger? Some Independent who barely scratched 10% of the vote. This victory wasn’t just a comeback; it was a message to the liberals and their endless bureaucratic bungling. Poilievre opened not one but two constituency offices—Camrose and Consort—to stay connected with his constituents, showing Liberals how it’s done.
Speaking of liberals, Mark Carney, a.k.a. “The Office Hunter,” is still searching high and low for a Nepean constituency office that fits his security needs. Meanwhile, his voters are left waiting, wondering if they’ll ever get the service they need. Talk about dropping the ball.
And where’s poor Damien Kurek in all this? The man who willingly gave up his safe seat in Battle River-Crowfoot for Poilievre’s political comeback is now busy juggling farm life and consulting for Conservative-aligned groups. He’s still rooted in his community, unlike some urban elites who prefer spinning policies over planting crops.
Here’s the takeaway for all you regular folks: Conservative leaders roll up their sleeves, get to work, and win big—riding after riding. Liberals? They’re too busy hunting offices or chasing fantasy policies that never land.
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