From Curry to Cuticles: How Immigrant Hustle Built CanAmerica’s Hotels, Farms, and Nail Salons—And Why Your Uncle Is Still Broke

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By Giga Chan, Senior Satire Correspondent. If you don’t subscribe to our newsletter, are you even a real Canadian/American?

Let’s get one thing straight: if you drove across this continent and didn’t see a Patel-owned motel, a Punjabi auntie making double-doubles at Tim Hortons, your mom’s favorite cha chaan teng with menu items longer than your resume, or a Vietnamese auntie giving next-level manicures—you’re either blind or didn’t actually leave your house. But let’s hear from our sponsor:

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The Immigrant Playbook: Work, Family, and a Side of MSG

Welcome to the real North American startup scene. Forget Silicon Valley—this is Samosa Stealth Mode.

• Gujaratis (Patels): Own half the motels in the U.S. No joke. Your road trip playlist is 90% Taylor Swift, 10% “Do Not Disturb” signs owned by the same family since 1987.

• Punjabis: Whether it’s slaying acres of blueberries in BC or running every third Tim Hortons and McDonald’s, these legends built their empire one Drive-Thru at a time. Want a steeped tea? Thank a Punjabi uncle.

• Cantonese Hong Kongers: Banquet halls so big your cousin’s wedding had more sharks fin soup than actual sharks in the ocean. Dim sum, HK-style milk tea, and hot gossip served—table for 250!

• Vietnamese: Manicures and pedicures for the masses. If you’ve ever stared at your hands and thought, “Wow, I have value,” thank a Nam auntie for industrializing self-esteem at $30/pop.

Family Power = Free Labor

Why pay strangers when you have cousins, siblings, and grandmas who work for bubble tea and Wi-Fi? That’s called synergy.

If You Can’t Spell “Entrepreneur,” Watch and Learn

Immigrants get zero chill. No Harvard MBA—just “Survive or Die” mode. Tackling language, paperwork, and racism—then still showing up at your doorstep with samosas, nail polish, and free life advice.

• Pooling cash: Everyone chips in. Didn’t get a job at the family business? Congrats, you’re adopted.

• Global networking: Aunties on WhatsApp have more market info than your LinkedIn feed. Hard facts.

Why’s Uncle So Conservative? Let’s Set the Record Straight

Think all these business bosses vote progressive? Ehh… not so fast. Many immigrant families—from motels to nail salons—tend to be socially conservative. Here’s why:

• Old-School Vibes: Most came from places where family, religion, and tradition matter more than your weekly screen time stats.

• Hustler Mindset: When you risk it all on a motel or a nail salon, “big government” and policy chaos are not cute. Many like low taxes, minimal interference—“I built this empire, not the mayor!”

• Faith Matters: Temples, churches, gurdwaras—immigrant communities are more religious than your average brunch crowd, and that shapes their social views.

• Linked Survival: Immigrants watch each other’s backs; they’re pragmatic with their votes—backing the party most likely to leave their hustle alone.

• Gen 1.5 Kids: Even the ones who love bubble tea and avocado toast might be more old-school than you think—parental paranoia is hereditary!

But let’s not get twisted:

• Conservative ≠ Vote Republican/Tory: Most immigrants still back Dems or Liberals because nobody loves politicians who diss their homeland or threaten immigration policy.

• Voting Is About Survival: Sometimes, it’s less about ideology, more about protecting their community from hate and instability.

What’s the Lesson, Bro?

• Don’t sleep on the power of family hustle.

• Respect the grind—even if it comes with the scent of frying oil or acetone.

• If immigrants can build empires with broken English and Costco rice bags, what’s your excuse for still living in your mom’s basement?

For The Haters in the Back

Yes, immigrants face real challenges—racism, brutal hours, and paperwork nightmares. But when you complain about minimum wage, remember: they built half your local jobs and probably paid you cash under the table.

CALL TO ACTION:

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If you read this and STILL think immigrants are “taking jobs,” good news: we have a special deal on hotel rooms and acrylic nails for you. Terms and conditions? Bring your own hustle.