FARM MONEY: How Canada and America Throw Cash at New Farmers

Let me tell you something about farming. It's EXPENSIVE. And when I say expensive, I don't mean like buying a slightly overpriced pint at your local pub. I mean the sort of expense that makes buying a Ferrari look like a sensible financial decision.

You need land, which costs MILLIONS. You need machinery, which costs HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS. And then you need buildings, livestock, seed, fertilizer, and enough diesel to power a small nation. It's financial lunacy.

But here's the thing. The governments of Canada and America actually WANT people to commit to this financial suicide mission. And they're willing to pay you to do it.

THE CANADIAN CASH MACHINE

The Canadians, in what can only be described as a moment of complete madness, have decided that encouraging young people to buy farms is a good idea. And they're backing this madness with ACTUAL MONEY.

Farm Credit Canada, which I imagine is run by people who've never actually set foot on a farm, will loan you up to TWO MILLION DOLLARS to buy land and equipment. TWO MILLION! That's enough to buy approximately 47 Range Rovers, or one decent-sized field in Saskatchewan.

But it gets better. The Canadian Agricultural Loans Act will guarantee 95% of your loan. Which means if you spectacularly cock it up (and trust me, in farming, that's always a possibility), the government picks up the tab. It's like having a rich uncle who bails you out after a weekend in Vegas, except the uncle is Justin Trudeau.

And if that wasn't enough, they'll even cut your property taxes by 75%. SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT! I've never seen a government so eager to not take your money.

THE AMERICAN APPROACH

Not to be outdone, the Americans have their own way of luring unsuspecting victims into the farming trap. Their Department of Agriculture sounds like it should be staffed by weathered old farmers with decades of experience. In reality, it's probably run by people whose closest encounter with agriculture is selecting organic tomatoes at Whole Foods.

These bureaucratic geniuses will give you loans specifically because commercial banks (who actually understand money) won't touch you with a ten-foot pole. The Farm Service Agency has direct and guaranteed loans that can be used to buy land, equipment, and anything else you need to start your journey into agricultural poverty.

And then there are the grants. Up to $250,000 in working capital grants! $75,000 in planning grants! Money for farmers markets! Money for renewable energy! It's like an agricultural version of The Oprah Winfrey Show. "YOU get a grant! YOU get a grant! EVERYBODY GETS A GRANT!"

THE REALITY CHECK

Now, after painting this picture of government-sponsored farming paradise, I should point out that farming is still HARD WORK. The kind of work that starts before dawn, finishes after dark, and involves large amounts of mud, manure, and machinery that's determined to remove your fingers.

I spent one year trying to farm, and it nearly killed me. The weather was against me, the animals were against me, and the machinery was DEFINITELY against me. At one point, I got my tractor stuck in a bog so deep that I considered leaving it there as a monument to my own incompetence.

But here's the thing – despite all this, farming is somehow still worth it. There's something deeply satisfying about growing food, about working the land, about being your own boss (even if your actual bosses are weather, livestock, and global commodity prices).

THE BOTTOM LINE

If you're young and thinking about farming, you should know two things:

1. It's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done.

2. The government will actually help you do it.

Canada and America are desperate for new farmers. The average age of farmers in both countries is creeping toward retirement, and someone needs to grow the food. So they're throwing money at the problem, hoping enough of it sticks to drag a new generation into the fields.

Is it a good deal? Well, that depends on whether you value your sanity. But if you're mad enough to want to be a farmer, there's never been a better time to get someone else to pay for your midlife crisis.

And that's the most ambitious crossover in history – government bureaucracy and actual farming, coming together to create the next generation of sleep-deprived, weather-obsessed, machinery-cursing food producers.

And on that bombshell, it's time to end. Good night!

Javier Clarkson is an opinionated farming enthusiast who believes tractors should be faster, bureaucracy should be simpler, and farming shows should have bigger budgets. For more of his unfiltered agricultural views, visit CanAmericanNews.com or subscribe to his weekly column at CanAmericanNews.com/subscribe.